"Bubbling up in our own good time-- online."
Groundwaters Publishing, LLC
Volume 7 Issue 1
As I write this, I am standing on a precipice, with an ever-shifting wind blowing
around me. Ever feel that way? You may know the feeling … the plunge into the deep
gorge is but a short step away and with the wind pushing at your back. You bear
down on your feet, bracing against the push and then the wind swirls about you
challenging your fragile balance. You take a step sideways to compensate and the
wind shifts again. Then, a gust rises from below and pushes you a step or two
backwards, before beginning anew its ever-changing whirl. The seeds of change
ride the relentless winds of life …
Thoughts, buffeted about by the winds of potential change race through my
conscious mind, persistent thoughts vying with each other to be the one that pushes
me beyond self-imposed limitations. Thoughts fed, perhaps, by the dark energies of
doubt – the uncertainties of unspoken fear. Should I continue to ….. Or, quit and
move on to something else? I wonder - does an inner knowing that I am somehow
unwilling or afraid to give in to drive this indecision.
Will the wind ever quit blowing? No … not for long, anyway and that is a good thing.
How else would I be moved to step over the line that change seems to draw for me in
the sand? Somewhere in my upbringing, I have been taught to resist change. I have
also come to know that resistance is rooted in the mysterious fabric of fear … most
often the fear of the unknown. I engage in a game without rules, that of “What if?” The
game serves to preserve the status-quo, to keep me in a mental limbo, inside of a
box of my own making.
Beyond the “surface” thoughts reeling through my head, there is an inner knowing
reminding me that whatever good has come into my life has come on either the
winds or the gentle breezes of change. By whatever means, change is what makes
things better always. I know that, yet from a corner of my mind rises a persistent “yah
but,” remember when … yes, I do remember. I remember the devastating pain of an
unwanted divorce, the worst time of my life. Now, looking back, I clearly see it paved
the way to an even better life. The pains of change are simply of the moment unless I
opt to wallow in them, thereby blocking the greater good hidden therein.
I seem to have come full circle. What am I resisting up there on that precipice?
Change is the challenge, the question, and is always the only answer. What prevents
me from just taking a deep breath, finding a moment of inner silence and letting my
inner knowing overcome the swirling thoughts of indecision? From the quiet
moments the way is revealed be it right, left, forward or backward becomes clear
and change prevails once again. Once again, the brink of the precipice teaches me
that I have a choice to make – to continue resisting or to get quiet, listen to my inner
knowing and let change lead me on.